Came across a caustic remark from another Mother? Sometimes it’s best to ignore it and continue to trust that the decisions you are making for the family are best at the point in time.
Many times, we allow such words to sink into our minds and cause us to feel inadequate or lousy. Words that pierce the soul have that kind of effect and to forget these remarks may not be easy after all.
Once, I was on my way home when another mum saw me and asked ‘Going to get groceries for cooking today?’ I was under the weather that day and replied with a slip of my tongue ‘No, I don’t feel like cooking today’. That mum responded ‘Woah, you need to have mood in order to cook ah? I cook for my family everyday, you know?’ looking at me with a challenge in her face. Maybe she was expecting me to retort, but then, what’s the point of me retorting? I smiled and walked away.
Hurtful words? Yes, definitely, to a person who intentionally tries to cook every day. Yet, I figured I cannot allow myself to dwell on such remarks and put myself down as well. No, I wasn’t cooking as I wanted to recuperate, and that doesn’t diminish my dedication to the family one bit. Everytime the words come to mind, I’ll replay my response to it to counter that negative thought and move on. On and on… optimism takes awhile to sink in, ya?
There are countless similar occasions that mums will face that put them in a spot and challenge their competency. Most importantly, if you’re already doing your best, give yourself that pat on the back, because you wouldn’t have done it any better anyway. Comparison would only serve to make us discontent with our current state.
Move on with life, and move away from caustic people. Surround yourself with likeminded mums who share your values and not judge your daily decisions. Motherhood will be a lot more encouraging then.