The first child is usually the one who gets their firsts in everything they could possibly experience. First kiddy ride, first sticker book, first swim class, first coin bank, first hand clothes. How about the younger sibling? They often hear ‘wait till you are older, you will have your chance’ Their lives amount to lots of waiting out… waiting till they get older, more mature, more able to handle situations, before these experiences are bestowed to them.
I had seen this coming when J2 was born and it’s been treading on thin line whenever I try to give each child equal chances at experiences, and trying to create authentic ones that etch deeply in their memory, something uniquely theirs. However, due to the fact that J2 is the younger sibling, he is usually the one who has to tag along, to look on, to observe the fun and perhaps sometimes, to have a seemingly less enriched time as compared to his elder Brother.
I have been actively trying to create special activity time with him so he knows that he is just as treasured as well. It may be the routine visit to the library, just he and me, where we get to read the kind of books he likes, or to spend a morning at the playground, suitable for his age, so he can mingle with children his age.
He enjoys this time alone and I recognise the importance of staying home so that I can have that one to one quality time with him, giving up some time from chores or even dinner, to have that undivided attention spent… and it has been worth the while.